Victorian Ladies and Gentlemen

When reading about the practice of raising a young woman in the Victorian age, there seems to be an underlying tone of fear in the voices of the enforcers. In fact, many social commentators even acknowledged this idea. If the women were to begin to immerse themselves in Gentlemanly pleasures, then who would pick up the responsibility to "provide a sanctified haven from the rough-and-tumble world of business and politics (555)?" The women are continually objectified, associated with the seemingly trivial realm of leisure, parties, relaxation, and pleasure. Upon reading such a description of a catergory, one would think that perhaps women really do have the better end of the deal--one rarely complains about the perils of an easy and beautiful life. In the introduction to this section, the reading supplies small interjections of women who are not disappointed with the congenial atmosphere of their position, but are rather bored with the time they must spend mulling away the hours. How should they fill their time when they are not receiving callers or planning parties? Do they submit to circling up with their friends to dicuss their callers and said parties? Surely, after some time, the conversation shifts to meaningless, redundant content that can only be reiterated so much as to where the words are lost. I don't believe that a woman ever wished for her words to be lost, but they most certainly existed in a world where their words could not really be discovered.

Many women from this time period found that their real lives did not really begin until after their domesticated lives came to an end. These women endured the seemingly wonderful experiences of marriage and motherhood, only to find that their stifled existence dissipated only when these pleasures were also obliterated.

To indulge in reading or studying was viewed as a selfish combatant to a postion of privilege. Harriet Martineau describes it in this way: "It was not thought proper for young ladies to study very conspicously...If ever I shut myself in my own room for an hour of solitude, I know I was at the risk of being sent for to join the sewing-circle, or to read aloud (556)." How awful to be denied a bit of isolation! In today's culture, we find that a small amount of time set aside for our own solitary pleasure is encouraged--for it gives us the chance to rediscover a personality that we have developed in the absence of others. One could argue, of course, that personality cannot find embodiement in the absence of a community, but I disagree. We all find ourselves exposed to human fellowship at some point, and I believe that these experiences remain in our consciousness throughout all of our isolated moments. Such interatction builds upon our internal monologue, probably the strongest and most hidden aspect of our personality. The human persona could not disappear when we lack company, for it will always continue to exist within our own stream of consciousness.

These "fine" Victorian women were slowly being honed toward dissolving this internal dialogue. The less time we have to ourselves, the weaker our ability to objectively assess a situation, relationship, or conflict. Allowing women to only exist in the company of other women and a few carefully selected males, we establish what the painter Edward Jones aspired to idealize: "The great point is, not that they should understand us [men], but that they should worship and obey us (556)."

What is most interesting to me about the way in which the inferiority of women in communicated is the impeccable diction and syntax that is implemented by its female advocates. Sarah Stickney Ellis, who, "Advised women to accept their inferiority to men and devote themselves to the happiness and moral elevation of their borther, husbands, and sons," writes with an incredible sense of literary voice. She is most certainly educated and absolutely aware of how she should effectively communicate her ideology. This is so surprising, because you could argue that by writing with such a level of pretention, she seems to elevate herself, making her disposition seem catty and her ego enlarged. Such perceptions were probably very undesirable for a "Lady" of her stature.